06

The hold ups I bought from ASOS arrived today. My legs are so disgustingly fat and short that they look terrible on me. I'm not even exaggerating. They really do.

Numbers are stagnant for now. 95 / 43.1. I'm trying not to freak out too much and just stay focused. Felt really nauseous and almost fainted last night which is never a good sign so I had some oranges 66 (partially purged), a Milk Choc Digestive 84 & 1 slice of toast with thin layer of butter 115. My body could function without fainting after that so I headed out to get some Dulcolax.

Every time I think about going home, my stomach does a little flip. Not in a good way. Aren't people supposed to be happy when they get to see their family? I love my family. But we don't get along. There is too much drama within us. Too much tension.

And then there's my nemesis. If she wasn't living with us, it wouldn't be so bad. My parents do not care about what I feel or how much it hurts. I think that's the problem. No one seems to care about my feelings, not that they're worth anything really. They're not to blame anyway, since I can barely voice my thoughts / express my emotions adequately.